Holy craps! I haven't written an article in some time. Like...3 years or so. That's interesting. Well I'm writing one now so you can shut the balls up. Throughout the month of September, I have been slowly gathering intelligence from my childhood to determine what the best shows were. From then on, I broke down each episode and figured in what their Halloween episodes were. Then I weeded out the shitty episodes of each respective show and have come up with: THE ULTIMATE HALLOWEEN DVD COLLECTION Four disks, 26 shows and over 20 hours of spooky, kooky, crazy fun! And outlined here are a list and a breakdown of each spine-tingling, eerie episode. Enjoy! Disk 1 – Nicktoons
Doug – Doug’s Halloween Adventure – Doug and Skeeter prepare for an enjoyable evening of trick-or-treating. Skeeter, always the ballsier one of the group, doesn’t want to go house to house because for one night only, Funky Town is opening Bloodstone Manor: a real life haunted house! When they meet up with Roger Klotz and decide to brave the Manor after the park closes, will they have what it takes to go all the way through? Or will Roger fuck it up like the green asshole he is?
Rugrats – Candy Bar Creepshow/Monster in the Garage – Rugrats used to be such an awesome show before that All Growed Up shit. The word is GROWN, Nickelodeon. If they were all grown up, you’d think they would know how to say “grown.” Bullshit. This is an early episode of the real Rugrats. In it, Angelica introduces the babies to Reptar Bars – the candy bar that turns your tongue green. The babies, of course, want one. But the only way to get one is to sneak out of their playpen and go into Stu and Didi’s haunted house in the back yard. The second part is about the babies thinking there’s a monster in the garage. I think it turns out to be Angelica’s cat….or Spike. I don’t know. I’m probably not even going to watch that one.
Rocko’s Modern Life – Sugar Frosted Freights/Ed is Dead – Rocko’s Modern Life was probably the best thing about Nickelodeon in the 90’s besides Salute Your Shorts (which I’ll be getting to later.) In this episode, Rocko and Heffer try to help Filbert get over his fear of Halloween and the ghost story about the Hopping Hessian. The second part is about Rocko and the gang thinking Mrs. Bighead killed Mr. Bighead. I don’t remember how that one ends so I’m excited to watch it.
Hey Arnold! – Arnold’s Halloween/Haunted Train/Four Eyed Jack – Hey Arnold was a great show until Steph pointed out that in the opening credits Helga never says “Arnold”….says Arnol. Thanks Steph. Anyway. Arnolds Halloween was a fantastic episode about the kids being pissed at the adults for whatever reason so they decide to dress up as aliens and fake a news broadcast about an alien invasion.. The adults believe it and try to kill the kids. Then in the Haunted Train episode, theres a haunted train! And in Four Eyed Jack, the kids find the glasses of a ghost named Four Eyed Jack and they think he’s in the boarding house. Good episode for a spooky day, I’ll say.
Ren and Stimpy – Haunted House – Ren and Stimpy go stay in a house that’s haunted by a depressed ghost who’s depressed because he’s not scary. So he tries unsuccessfully to scare them throughout the night.
Aaaaahhh! Real Monsters – The Switching Hour – The first episode of the critically unnoticed television program, Aaaaahh! Real Monsters. Ickus and his friends go out to scare on Halloween and some little bastard who just happened to be dressed as Ickus gets swapped with the real Ickus. Hilarity and hijinx ensue!
Muppet Babies – Is there a Muppet in the house? - Rolf (somehow) sees a scary movie and describes it to the rest of the babies. They all shit their pants during the night and imagine scary things because Rolf the dog told them something scary. Muppet Babies was an awesome show. Disk 2 – Cartoons
South Park – Pinkeye/ Spooky Fish/Korn’s Groovy Pirate Mystery/Hell on Earth 2006 – In Pinkeye, everyone in South Park becomes a zombie. In Spooky Fish, Stan gets a spooky fish as a pet that goes around murdering people. Korn’s Groovy Pirate Mystery is a parody of Scooby Doo with the Korn gang. And in Hell on Earth 2006, Satan throws the best Halloween party ever! Also, the kids look in the mirror and say Biggie Smalls 3 times and conjure the spirit of Biggie Smalls.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force – Broodwich/The Shaving – Broodwich is about an evil sandwich that sends you to an alternate universe if you finish it. The Shaving is about a non-scary onion monster named Willie Nelson that lives in the attic. He also shaves.
Beavis and Butthead – Butt-O-Ween – This is the episode of the famous MTV show. Beavis and Butthead laugh a lot and Beavis eats too much candy. And we ALL know what happens when Beavis eats too much candy, don’t we? DON’T WE?
Family Guy – Petergeist – A parody of Poltergeist. Except they substituted Polter with Peter. I think there’s something about ghosts in the episode. And the scariest part of all….CARROT TOP!
Futurama – The Honking – Bender has a virus beamed into him that turns him into a Ware Car.
Pinky and the Brain – Halloween – I have no idea what this episode is about. Pinky and the Brain probably try and take over the earth on Halloween with some sort wacky outcome.
Animaniacs – Draculee, Draculaa – The animaniac gang meet up with Dracula after mistaking Transylvania with Pennsylvania. Thats the first time that joke has ever been used.
Freakazoid – Candlejack – This episode is about Candlejack who kidnaps you of you say his na Disk 3 – Sitcoms
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Halloween/Fear Itself – In Halloween, Buffy and the gang buy their costumes from a shady costume shop and all turn into whatever they’re dressed as. I dunno what happens in Fear Itself, but Xander dresses up like James Bond just incase what happened the year before happens again. Smooth, Xander. Also Buffy gets naked. Note: Last sentence does not happen.
Boy Meets World – Who’s Afraid of Cory Wolf/ And Then There Was Shawn – Cory believes he is turning into a Werewolf after he gets bitten by a wolf. And Then There Was Shawn is the best episode of Boy Meets World…EVAR! Someone is killing all the kids in detention and Topanga is HOT. They stole the plot of this episode from Breakfast Club.
Home Improvement – The Haunting of Taylor House/ Crazy for You/ I Was A Teenage Taylor – Haunting of Taylor House is only on here cause its about Halloween. That’s honestly the only reason I put it on here. Now, Crazy for You…that’s an episode! Tim is stalked by a mysterious lady in red. And again, I Was A Teenage Taylor is only on here because its Halloween and because JTT makes a joke about Simba the lion.
Saved by the Bell – Mystery Weekend – This is the best episode of Saved by the Bell ever. They go to a mansion and the piano player gets killed. Kelly complains about being poor the whole time. Everyone thinks Zack is the killer. Its awesome. Also, I used to think the maid in this episode was so much hotter than she actually is. Screech gives her a Dirty Sanchez.
Family Matters – Dog Day Halloween – Urkle and Laura go to the bank and it gets held up. I only remember this episode because the bank has the same skull decoration we used to have in our living room. Disk 4 – Jack(-O-Lantern) of all Trades
Goosebumps – The Haunted Mask/ Haunted Mask II/ Attack of the Jack-O-Lanterns – The Goosebumps series was awesome when I was little. Now, some remarkable soul has placed each episode on YouTube. So that spells excellence for a guy like me whose making a DVD like this. In the Haunted Mask, a girl buys a mask from a scary mask shop and she’s unable to get it off. In the Haunted Mask II, a boy gets a mask from a scary mask shop and is unable to get it off. And then in Attack of the Jack-O-Lanterns, kids are forced to trick or treat forever. FACT: I had a total crush on the girl who played Carly Beth when I was little.
Salute Your Shorts – Zeke The Plumber – Best non-animated show from the 90’s. Hands down. In this weeks episode, Bobby “Badass” Budnick tells the campers a ghost story about Zeke The Plumber. That night, Michael and Telly have nightmares (ironically, they envision the same person even though it was just a story and there was no picture) about Zeke the Plumber. So they bet Budnick that he can’t stay in the woods all night without being scared. (Spoiler: He totally wrecks their shit!)
Garfield – Halloween Special – Garfield and Odie go trick or treating and get haunted by some ghosts. I loved this special when I was little. But after a while, no one liked Garfield anymore and they stopped showing it. I found the DVD at Walmart for like 5 bucks.
Pokemon – The Ghost of Maiden’s Peak – Say what you want about Pokemon, this is still a kickass episode. Brock is pissed that summer is over and he didn’t meet any girls. Then one day he sees a beautiful girl on the docks. But it turns out the girl has been dead for TWO THOUSAND FUCKING YEARS! HOLY SHIT! Pikachu saves the day like always.
Freaks and Geeks – Tricks and Treats – The young’ns…or GEEKS….decide they have one more year of trick or treating they can do. Meanwhile, the freaks go out and egg people on the streets. Lindsay is also a total bitch to her mom.
How I Met Your Mother – Slutty Pumpkin – Whiny bitch Ted waits on the roof of his building for a girl who was at the Halloween party years ago dressed as a pumpkin. Barney, whose got it all figured out, tries to get him to go somewhere fun.
Well there you have it. The list of the best shows ever made for Halloween. Don’t ask me for it though cause I’m not making anymore. Gd’day!
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